


Missing her

by Nightworldlove



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Comforting, Cuddles, Deaf Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Sign Language, Snuggling, make sure to have some tissues on hand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22148530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightworldlove/pseuds/Nightworldlove
Summary: Grief is an emotion most people know and have felt at some point. It is different for everyone, some might only grief for a few weeks or months, some might grief for years and years. This is the case for Amaya, too.
Relationships: Amaya/Janai (The Dragon Prince)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 63





	Missing her

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was super emotional about two days ago, out of nowhere and it wouldn't leave me alone. So I decided to write, in the hopes to get rid of it/let it out. Also, this is not essential, but I listened to the song 'You' by Keaton Henson quite a few times while reading. If you give it a listen, you'll probably understand why.
> 
> Thanks to Solitae for proofreading and beta-reading it, means a lot! 
> 
> Please let me know what you think?

**_Missing her_** _  
__05.01.2020_

* * *

The view seemed to stretch on forever, it was unfortunate there was no way to see beyond the horizon. Then again, no matter what was beyond it; it wouldn’t really make a difference. 

Her heart ached, tears streaming down her face. The only reason she had let go of them, was because she was alone. There wasn’t anyone she had to hide the tears from, nobody to bother with her grief. 

The sky above her was a beautiful blue, with bright and fluffy white clouds floating along it. Her thoughts drifted on the breeze, taking her back in time. 

Countless images flashed by in her mind’s eye, causing new tears to well up in the corners of her eyes to join the previous ones and travel down her face. She missed her sister and it was hard to fathom Sarai had been gone for so long already, it had been over a decade, though it still felt so fresh. 

Instincts kicked in when she felt a hand on her shoulder, bringing her up to her feet instantly and she took on a defensive stance. The glare disappeared right away, though, when she realized who it was. Her shoulders slumped and she quickly wiped the tears from her face, her skin burning as she did so. 

“You don’t have to pretend with me,” Janai whispered as she rested a hand against the side of Amaya’s face. “Please don’t,” the Sunfire elf continued, her eyes pleading. Amaya leaned into the soft touch, biting her lip as more tears fell down. “Come here.” Amaya let herself be embraced by the elf, wrapping her arms around Janai, clinging to the taller woman.

The tears kept coming, more freely as she felt Janai’s hand softly caressing her hair and pressing kisses on top of her head. She didn’t protest the slightest when the Sunfire elf lifted her up, sitting them both down on the soft grass. Their legs were beside each other, stretched out onto the grass, their bodies close. Amaya’s head still rested onto Janai’s shoulder, while Janai continued to comb through her hair and plant kisses on the crown of her head every now and then. It wasn’t until she felt something wet on her neck that Amaya stirred and lifted her head off the elf’s shoulder. Her heart broke when she saw tears in Janai’s amber eyes, those eyes showing the same emotion she felt right now.  _ Grief _ .

Both had lost their Queens  _ and _ their older sisters, both had been unable to protect them; to save them. Both still felt guilt, even though they knew that they weren’t guilty in the slightest; which was probably why it hurt so much worse. There had been absolutely nothing they could’ve done, not back then, not now. Their sisters had been taken away from them and they had been left behind to suffer the loss while life still went on. 

Amaya felt her heart ache even more now, remembering so vividly how she had held Janai back as Queen Khessa passed away. She had been reminded of when she had lost Sarai, how her entire world just shattered and her screams vibrated in her throat until it felt sore. Night upon night she had cried herself to sleep, when she was alone and tired from hiding her grief from the boys; Ezran and Callum. It had been so incredibly hard, especially when Callum would come to her and look into her eyes, tears at the corners of his eyes and lip trembling. It had been so difficult for her to keep her composure in front of him. 

She held Janai tight, she hated to see the Sunfire elf like this, but then realized that her crying likely had the exact same effect on Janai. Her hand reached to Janai’s face and she tenderly wiped away some tears, caressing the gold markings on the elf’s cheeks. They shimmered even more with the wetness of the tears,  _ her _ sunlight. Amaya had found comfort in the fact that Janai didn’t have to ask but just  _ knew _ her pain, because Janai had felt— _ still _ felt the same heart wrenching pain. The pain of grief that never really left, always lingered. Sometimes more dull, but it was always present. 

_ ‘I miss her… So much…’ _ Amaya signed, her hands trembling as she did.

_ ‘We both do…’ _ Janai managed to sign back, her hands just as unsteady as Amaya’s. They didn’t need to clarify that they both meant their own sister, as they hadn’t known each other’s sisters. Amaya had only seen Queen Khessa once and it had been very briefly, it had been hostile at best. Janai had told her over and over that there was no need for the elf to forgive her, but sometimes it would just suddenly creep into her thoughts and make her feel uncomfortable to say the least.

Her eyes hurt from the countless tears she had cried, the skin on her cheekbones raw from wiping them away over and over again. She leaned forward and kissed Janai’s cheeks gently, kissing away the remainder of tears there. A deep sigh left her and she saw Janai did the same as the elf wiped some hair out of Amaya’s face, the touch soothing and full of love. 

_ ‘Turn around _ . _ ’ _ Janai’s lips formed a sad smile and without questioning it, Amaya pulled up her knees, then turned her body around. She stretched her legs back out again, her back now resting against the Sunfire elf’s chest and stomach. Janai wrapped her arms around Amaya’s soft belly and rested her chin on the brunette’s shoulder. Amaya put her hands over Janai’s, their fingers intertwining. They both sighed and just sat in silence, finding comfort in each other and in the embrace. 

_ ‘I remember how Khessa would insist every single year to celebrate my birthday with a big party, despite me not caring for it. There would be loads of marshmellows and when I was really little, I would eat them until I physically couldn’t anymore.’  _

Amaya felt Janai chuckle as she told Amaya about a memory of her and Khessa, a smile appeared on her lips and she brought up her own hands to sign. 

_ ‘Sarai’s birthday was always the sweetest day of the year,  _ literally _ the sweetest. There would be chocolate chip pancakes and stuffed toast with candies berries for breakfast, then pastries and fluffy muffins for lunch and pies with fresh strawberries for dinner. In between meals there would be countless jelly tarts, an almost never-ending supply of them.’  _ Her hands stilled and a smile appeared on her lips at the fond memories of Sarai. 

_ ‘Did she have a toothache afterwards?’ _ Janai asked and Amaya shrugged. 

_ ‘Not that I know of, she never complained about any to me, at least.’  _ Amaya leaned back her head onto Janai’s shoulder, their cheeks touching.  _ ‘Callum did though, poor kid wasn’t even able to look at any of those dishes for weeks to follow. Ezran on the other hand… Well, you know how much he likes his jelly tarts; almost as much as his mom did.’ _

Janai smiled as she nodded slowly, grinning as she thought of the young King with his lips and cheeks covered in the jelly from the tarts. 

_ ‘Khessa would give me her marshmellows, as long as I gave her my sour gummies. And we would roam around the palace, mainly the secret passages.’  _ Janai smiled as her thoughts took her back, a chuckle working its way out of her body.

_ ‘I remember when Sarai came to me and told me I would become an aunt, when she was pregnant with Callum. And years later again, when she was pregnant with Ezran. She would let me feel them move around and kick, she was glowing and radiated happiness. But she refused to take it easy, even when she was about to give birth any moment; she wouldn’t let anyone stop her. Until I finally told her I’d kick her ass if she didn’t sit down and stay put.’  _ Amaya chuckled as she remembered the scowl Sarai had given her, but listened to her in the end. How her sister had said she would be the best aunt the boys could hope for and knew they’d be safe with Amaya no matter what. 

_ ‘Sounds like someone I know…’ _ Janai signed as she snickered; causing Amaya to turn her face to meet Janai’s eyes.  _ ‘Yes, you.’ _ Janai stuck out her tongue when Amaya rolled her eyes, both knowing Amaya wasn’t any different.  _ ‘I wish I could’ve met her, your sister.’  _ Amaya nodded as she let out a deep sigh.

_ ‘Me too, she would’ve liked you. A lot. And she would’ve challenged you for a sparring match.’ _

_ ‘Oh, I would have  _ gladly _ taken the invitation to that.  _ Janai replied with a grin.  _ Would I be able to win?’ _

_ ‘Pretty sure it’d turn into an infinite sparring-match, neither of you winning or losing.’  _ Janai nodded, intrigued. 

_ ‘You wanna hear a funny story?’ _ Janai asked and Amaya faced her once again, raising an eyebrow and flashing the elf a smug grin.

_ ‘If only I wasn’t deaf…’ _ Janai slapped Amaya’s arm as she shook her head, rolling her eyes.  _ ‘I’d love to.’ _ Amaya signed then, kissing Janai’s cheek before looking back at the Sunfire elf’s hands again. 

_ ‘Khessa once wanted to see how the staff and crown looked on her, for when she’d become Queen. I kept telling her not to, but of course she didn’t listen, as she was older and could do what she wanted. The crown got stuck as it fell around her head, the back was behind her horns and the front on her chin. I laughed so hard, but then we panicked as we heard someone coming and we couldn’t get it off.’  _ Janai laughed as she remembered the expression on Khessa’s face when her older sister had realized the crown was stuck.  _ ‘We were caught red handed, but thank goodness we didn’t get in trouble. But I don’t think I’ll ever forget the expression on her face.’ _

Amaya couldn’t help but laugh as she imagine a very young Khessa with the crown stuck around her horns and chin and Janai laughing until tears rolled down her face. They both were shaking as they laughed, the sadness ebbing away little by little.

_ ‘Thank you.’ _ Amaya signed as they watched the sun slowly sink into the horizon. Janai just smiled and squeezed Amaya a bit tighter against her chest. 

_ ‘There’s nothing to thank me for, love.’ _ Janai replied and pressed a kiss on top of Amaya’s hair lovingly. 

_ ‘Just accept the ‘thanks’.’ _ Amaya teased and turned her body a quarter in Janai’s arms, looking into the elf’s amber eyes and flashed Janai a smile. She brought her face close to the elf’s and felt her cheeks get warmer as she leaned forward and pressed her lips onto Janai’s tenderly. 

Janai smiled as they kissed, her arms holding Amaya close to her. Their foreheads rested against each other when they broke their kiss and looked at each other lovingly. Janai leaned back to plant a kiss on Amaya’s forehead, smiling as she saw the brunette blush. They smiled and turned to watch the sunset in silence, admiring the beautiful colors until there was nothing but a deep blue. 


End file.
